"I-I..." I'm completely lost for words. I know that just saying sorry will never fix this. I feel a lonely tear fall down my already streamed red cheeks.
"You know... if being with me is too much and you want to move on, you could just say so." She stares seemingly blankly, hiding her hurt.
"No! Ally I love you! I know that maybe a little hard to believe right now, but I do- only you. I-I don't know why that all happened, what got into me. It wasn't me- you know that!" I plead through sobs.
"I know Shawn." She pauses while she stares off behind me, thinking. Her facial expression drops as she comes to a decision. "Maybe," she takes a deep breath while she recollected herself. "Maybe we need to take a break Shawn. I love you too but I can't keep doing this while you are like this, while I don't know what you want- you clearly even don't." She stares at her feet, twirling her thumbs. This is a really bad time to disagree. I need to sort myself out before I can even try to not hurt her. The more I hurt her, the more I hurt myself. I nod my head. I try to stand up as she takes as step back. As she turns away to walk home ahead of me, I yell out.
"Look, I know that this will change nothing- I get that, but you need to know that I'm sorry, that I didn't plan to do that, to be anywhere near her. I didn't know the pictures was her either. I just want you to know that." She looks at me and half-smiles. "Okay Shawn." She turns back around and keeps walking- she doesn't believe me. Not at all. I go to walk home behind her, but I figure that's a bad idea so I head to the park where we used to go, to regain my thoughts.
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